Obese Pets and Jailed Red Heads and Supreme Beings

"Study finds half of the US' Pets are overweight"....siiiighhhhhhh..... which means not only our kids are inheriting our fat genetics...now are pets are!Well, it's that or now obesity has gone airborn! Soon we will have NBA Legends giving press conferences announcing their retirement because they slept with a contestant on the biggest loser, contracted the F.A.T virus and will have to quit playing basketball due to the recent gain of 85 lbs and lack of enough muscle to properly dribble the ball. Isn't this like smoking in the car with a kid who cannot defend themselves? Well, if your maltese could borrow the car and go shopping at Petco for a 40 lb bag of dry "Lean and Fit: Lamb and Rice" then I wouldn't say we should be held accountable....the way I see it we got 2 choices: 1. They eat what we give them like the meaty shit in cans and one scoop of kraft mac and cheese from dinner...or 2. They fend for themselves by digging up the dead hamsters in the back yard and eat what you left in the toilette following lunch. This is unfair to them, Do you know how hard it is for an obese Dalmatian to get a good gig at the local firehouse? If his fat ass can't get on the truck, how can he get his picture taken for all those cute calendars?? Or how about trying to put an overweight chiuaua in a new coach hand bag!?! Sorry, but having a fat hamster size dog sticking out of your 1000 dollar purse is not seen as classy down on rodeo drive...but I guess who cares what Cowboys think anyway? All I have to say is 2 words.. Bullshit...

Lindsey lohan is back working the court system again and I do not know why, why don't they just leave her alone...she wasn't drunk...she just had too much Listerine and those are not track marks..she's just a "cutter" and likes to feel pain....yea...lindsey and your hair isn't red and your freckles aren't real...it's an amber-peach shade and you have year round chicken-pocks. I don't know who is more to blame for this..her or the judge...the judge keeps letting her go on a notice...well...for being a "supreme being" and knowing the law of the land...you couldn't manage the well fare of a rock garden...there are 3 things he needs to see here 1. Red head 2. Child Actor 3. Bony Arms....that tells you 3 things....she has a temper, she made more money at the age of 9 then you will make your whole life and she doesn't eat but digests house hold chemicals and brushes her teeth with coacaine....so what the hell? Give her the orange PJ's...send her to a cell and let a 300 pound lady "clean her carpet" for the next 10 years...that will straighten her out :)

"Supreme Beings" = Def. Individuals who wear capes like batman, use a hammer like thor, make 6 figures to sit in a wooden life guard chair and decide the fate of the human race simply by memorizing large words out of a book written by old people who wore white wigs and had wooden teeth....hmmmmmmm
Personally, i would think to be called a Supreme being one would have to be able to run the 40 in a 3.3, win the Triple Crown without a horse, have a birth certificate but you weren't born from a woman, and eat your cereal using natural ice beer instead of milk...by god...that deserves a label of "supreme being"...so they memorize the laws of the land...know large legal terms and words...get to dress like they graduated everyday...and hold the fate of all humans in the palm of their hands? That and if your really good, like Clarence Thomas on the supreme court...you don't have to say 1 word in 5 years of court...wow....could you imagine if doctors could do that?? "Doc how'd my test go...__________________________....." ok.....did you find anything? ______________________________ "hmmmmmm.....ok....awkward much? This guy got paid 6 figures to be a supreme court justice and hasn't said one damn word in 5 years? Does lady Gaga get signed to a record deal at Sony arts and sit in a booth wearing a freddy krueger mask and a kermit the frog sweat suit, not sing and still get paid? NOOOO....Sony sends her ass to the mime school and tells her to learn the box act....wow...this is america at it's finest!

Im back...so wake up...