I thought she was pregnant...turns out she just ate the whole turkey and has gas.

Roughly 50% of the nation is considered obese or suffering from “Phatassitis”, these are constantly the numbers we hear from “professional” (Janitorial staff working at office buildings and shopping malls) people across the nation. The kids are fat, the adults are fat, even Steven Siegal is fat…my god…I am sorry but if a 12th degree black belt gets fat and starts playing the guitar…screw global warming…we are going to die because no one will be able to physically rip the throats out of team Jacob followers!! So what is the cause? Is it those darn genetics again…that bastard Darwin was right…evolution is changing Human Beings all right…but into land based Orcas. News flash…when the Country Fair fried food of the year is Fried butter and fried candy bars…its doesn’t take Steven Hawking to calculate why people look like the Michelin Man. Seriously…can we just fast forward a couple years to the point where the new fad is to drink the fat that is coming out of a patient getting lipo suction? We are to the point now where you may visit the Omaha Zoo and next to the Gorilla Enclosure is the Johnson Family from Georgia…watch in astonishment as zoo keepers feed them their body weight in baked beans. I am at loss of what we can do to make ourselves more gross and disgusting. “It has been confirmed that obesity is indeed genetic and studies have shown people are more likely to be overweight if they have this chromosome count…blah blah blah”….yea…and Octomom just got a scholarship to Harvard. What the heck is wrong with our country? Are we a couple years away from M.J.B.N. syndrome becoming a genetic disorder (Michael Jackson Bird Nose)? We have shrinks, psychologists, Doctors, therapists and Maury Povich all coming up with new syndromes, disorders and other crap everyday…there is a syndrome for having the desire to have sex with sheep…cant it just be the fact that the bastard is missing part of his brain and something about hooves makes him hot? Money drives it all…am I right? We have these people who talk to other people because no would want to listen unless they get paid 100 bucks an hour to listen to why you knocked up 8 teenagers in your neighborhood and now your wife left you for the paperboy…does that person who is getting the help ever stop and think…hmmm…I wonder if my male therapist goes home..puts on high heels and lipstick and dances around to Starship all night? News flash..we are all human..we all do weird crap…we all have issues…we all pooop and yes.. it all stinks like shit. So back to fat and genetics….was it an issue 50 years ago…NO…did we have fried candy bars 50 years ago..NO…did we have the 2 lbs thick burger at hardees 50 years ago…NO. …Fat people are not fat because of genetics…fat people are fat because they eat more calories than an African elephant with a tape worm…Im tired of “medical” people making excuses for why we as a nation look like a heard of super Rosie O’donnels…you want to see your toes and buy one seat on a airplane…put less food in the trough and move faster than a sun dial…wake up..shut up.