I kept my calorie intake to 10,000 but I still can't find my belly button

Out of a request to my esteemed Colorado adviser…there is a topic that needs to be addressed and it regards obesity. Now I understand that it’s genetic and it’s not your fault you just ate a gallon of ice cream, a package of Oreos and McDonalds for breakfast and drink Crisco, and I know it’s not your fault you can’t breath because you have a pony keg of fat crushing your lungs, but we need to work together here….and exercising is not bending over to tie your shoes or simply get off your back to get out of bed, even though I know it is a struggle…but we really need to do something here. Why is it that my good friend can’t go to a nice buffet for dinner and not be grossed out because he has to wear a loin cloth, paint his face like Braveheart and storm the crab Rangoon’s before they are wiped out by Herd of Elephant seals? And how these people reproduce boggles the mind. Either they have weaponry like a Clydesdale or they use hooks to hold up the excess and the entire family helps out to make the magic happen. Let me ask something, if it were a Genetic disorder, that would mean you would go about your typical day, eat a banana and oatmeal for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch and a lean cuisine for dinner, but would still manage to put on 5 lbs. News flash, you eat those things and park your car farther away then the sidewalk and you will not gain weight…I guarantee it. So lets drop the DNA and Gene theory here, the only thing genetic going on with your weight is that they somehow managed to get trans fat out of Oreos without changing the taste. And as for bringing up weightloss programs, we could design one…lets call it “Don’t eat like an Elephant, Don’t look like one!” How many obese Native Americans have you ever seen in pictures when they lived on the grasslands? Probably none, because Big Mac’s don’t grow on trees and the only place you got hot fudge was from the muffler on a Buffalo and pretty sure they didn’t put that on their ice cream. If you can’t find it in nature, don’t eat it, it’s an extremely simple idea. Walk farther, drink water and shut up. And for my particular favorite people, the one’s who are proud to be big…I beg to differ. You are honestly proud to buy two seats on an airplane, require more material than a parachute to make your pants and spend your life wondering if your shoes are on the right feet? Please, spare me the proud attitude speech. How about we as a nation shut up, walk more, get outside and if you can’t fish it, kill it, grow it or harvest it in the wild…then consider it a “Genetic” transformation food and beware of the results. Wake the hell up.

In Memory Of Whisker Biscuit