Beckham Comes to US!! And Kobe goes to play hoops for Switzerland!!

David Beckham….awww yes….one of my personal favorite athletes who is by far one of the most productive and lucrative to ever bless this great nation. He has brought world wide obsession to the land where Soccer needed a boost. He singled handedly put it on the rise and forced it to nip the heals of Professional Horse Shoes and the UNO Championships in ratings in only a single season!!! All I know is that the investment of paying him $250 million dollars was a drop in the bucket compared to what everyone received in return….a cool new European Hair cut idea and a return of one of thee biggest pop stars to ever sing in a non-mens group with over 4 members!! I understand you’re a pop icon and your wife can’t smile, I just don’t understand who loaned the Los Angeles Galaxy enough money to pay you roughly $98.00 a minute. So basically you can take a 5 minute shit, a 2 hour nap and watch YouTube for 30 minutes before practice and you just made $15,190!! And you earn all of this by only having to run up and down a field and kick a ball into a large net 3 times in a season!! Too bad Kobe Bryant can’t go play basketball in Switzerland, where I hear it’s real big, make $25 million dollars a year there and only have to score 8 points a game! That would be just as good of a deal!! He could even take Vanessa with him, shoot Mr Clean into her face so she can’t smile and give her tinted welding goggles to wear!! Governor Schwarzennnneggar has been looking to raise funds in the state of California due to it’s debt issues…well…If you would have kept the receipt for Beckham, you could have returned him to the Euros with a proper cause that he was defective. Yes there would be some tears by loyal Galaxy fans, but don’t worry, those ten people will be over it before you know it!! So bottom Line, props to Beck’s and Posh for bleeding the high power idiots of the United States for enough money to buy a thousand Mac laptops while not having to do much of anything besides put gel in your hair and frown when in public! Maybe I should start practicing to run and up and down a field with 30 of my friends while wearing argyle socks and looking confused. It’s worth looking into. Wake up people.