Become a bee keeper and earn your PH.D in Fashion!!

I do believe that Zoolander did a great job at summing up the fashion industry in a swift hour and a half. From the new 13 year old “genius” code named the style rookie to lady gaga, just what is considered to be fashionable or how do you know you have good fashion? What I have learned from researching is that if you dress like the kid who drinks glue and eats the macaroni counters in grade school, then apparently you are destined to become a pioneer in the fashion business. To begin with, disregard everything anybody you see in public wears as fashion. The best bet is to sort through old Halloween costumes, the box of clothes from the 70’s your mom has in the basement, the burn bin at good will and to top it off use some sort of inanimate object. Now put all the crap on at one time and strut your stuff..if you do venture out in public..I suggest wearing a anti shark suit and lead vest..you will have a better chance at surviving the drive by….if you want to go big…start up your own website or blog and put pictures of other kids who got beat up in elementary school on it. Use the word “Like” 3 times per sentence and post pictures of your favorite designers latest runway show…the one where most outfits were based off bee keepers and slutty pilgrims. While we are on the topic, why do all runway shows look as though they took malnourished woman who only frown and made them wear the clothes George Lucas turned down for wardrobes in star wars? I am pretty sure the models don’t smile because the designers don’t feed them and only pay them 7 bucks an hour to wear that crap, all while forcing them to put their makeup on using an air compressor. They are, however, given a steady diet of LSD, Water and Xanax. So when it comes time to release the new line of clothing, why is it a $200 washed t shirt and $300 jeans with holes??? I will tell you why, because even though the designers make “models” wear that crap, they sure as hell won’t be caught dead in it. Let me know the next time you see Ralph Lauren dressed like two-face from the batman movies and I will be your personal assistant for life. Where do all the fun “prototype” pieces go? Do they donate them to the Halloween boutique to make costumes for next year? I think since Halloween is coming up, I am going to check the label on my new Pee Wee Herman costume and see if it says “Material and Idea Donated by Versace:”. So the next time your tempted to go to that fancy fashion show and pay hundreds of dollars for a ticket, remember, wait until mid to end October and go sit outside your local Halloween costume shop and you can watch the same crap….wake it up people.