News Flash: Fat Kid Dyes Hair Blue, Gets Rich

It’s a typical tragedy…kid grows up as the fat kid in class….gets picked on by classmates….isn’t the popular kid…envies the schools star athletes and their “hottest in class girlfriends” and envies the hair doo made popular by the orange Midgets in Willy Wonka. He grows up with some bitterness, continues to maintain his plumpness, dyes his hair blue, pink and other various crayon colors..comes out of the closet..makes fun of celebs for being everything he wants…and ends up making 6 figures a year and gets a an opportunity to record an album because the average person in society isn’t smart enough to figure out they are paying his bills by following this waste of space…it’s just sad. It has to be hard when you graduate with a degree in theater, try to get acting jobs but can’t get one because your over weight and have blue hair…although he was rumored to be the leading roll for the movie “Trolls” (based off the popular plastic figurines with afros). When acting is what you want and unemployed is what you get, I am sure it has to be frustrating. So what better way to get your name out there then by attacking the very people you want to be your friends. So I am going to issue an apology on his behalf to all celebrities that were hurt or angered by Perez Hiltons comments, he really only wants to be your friend. It just saddens me that our chubby, blue haired icon has come to such a low as to bash those he desires to be. I think this is an important lesson to the young people of America…eat McDonalds…use Halloween Hair Coloring Year Round…hate the people who are successful and you too will get an opportunity to make money. Forget education, pursue a career in making fun of those who are wealthy and you too can have it all!! So the next time your Chemistry teacher tells you to turn in your homework, tell them to stick it…go dye your hair purple and make fun of people with money!! Our husky rainbow head is only part of the problem, the other part is the person out there who follows this genius and actually is interested in what he is doing or has to say. Wake up dipshit.